When a nice guy finally shows up, it’s hard to find yourself fully attracted to him right off the bat. When you’re used to a**holes and finally meet a guy who’s truly kind, you’re always waiting and assuming that there’s some dark secret or sh*tty behavior is just around the corner. Basically, dating a nice guy after a bunch of a**holes is kind of like watching a horror movie — the gloomy music chimes hard and you’re waiting for the killer to jump out at any given moment, but then you realize you’re actually just watching a Disney movie and there’s nothing scary about it at all. You’ve been with so many idiots who have flipped the script on you before when you thought you were in safe territory, so it’s hard to believe that pattern won’t repeat.
You’re not sure if you like him all that much in the beginning. You’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable before and it kicked you in the face, so you’re going to be a little hesitant to let him truly have a piece of your heart. You question what parts of your softness he deserves because so far, everyone before him has left you with nothing but disappointment. Just as you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, you might find yourself analyzing this guy who seems too good to be true, wondering where his a**hole flag is hiding.You’re getting drinks with your guy friend when he brings up the lines we’ve all heard a million times: “Nice guys finish last” and “women love jerks.”You may roll your eyes, agree with him or passionately refute his statement. I think there needs to be a clear line with guys who have good intentions vs. I’m here to explain why nice guys finish last and why women love assholes.For some reason, being a “nice guy” means you can get away with anything.They’ll ask the person serving their coffee how their day is going, and they’ll genuinely want to know.They won’t play games when you meet them, and they won’t put up with your crap or manufactured drama because they know nice when they see it, and picking fights isn’t nice.One of the hardest things I have to tell women who come to me for dating advice is that ‘it is you – not them.’ The world does not have a shortage of nice men, despite what you may believe.