He tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and sexy, etc., and how lucky he is to have found me. The problem is, that whenever we go out, he looks at other women. I think that it’s rude to my partner, although I am tempted to show him how it feels! I couched it in a joking form, to make the comment, but let him know that I’ve noticed his staring. I didn’t ask him why, just said something to the effect of: “oh, it’s the beer in her hand you were looking at?! How do I avoid an argument that will be simply denial on his part, and be productive to let him know this really bothers me, that he goes out of his way to look/stare?He says almost every day that he wants to marry me, and how he misses me terribly when we are apart. How do I let him know that I don’t trust his words, then, that he thinks I’m beautiful, etc., if he’s got to look at every woman we pass by?Listen, if anybody in the world would be expected to defend an inappropriate flirt, it’s me.
He’s a very intelligent man, classy, generous, loving and not a womanizer. He gets so caught up in it, even while holding my hand and walking past shops, he’ll head into one, if he sees someone attractive inside. He’s even go so far as to look behind me to see someone again, and has looked long enough many times to make eye-contact. But it’s these long-looks, or just about forgetting that I’m there right next to him, that are really bothering me. I do get looked at often by men, but I don’t make eye contact like he does. I’ve only once made a comment about what he was looking at recently. Other than that, he seems oblivious to his behavior.
I bet the majority of people in relationships who are reading this just raised their eyebrows with looks of disapproval.
The first thought that probably popped into their minds was, “But, I’m in a relationship — I shouldn’t flirt.”Relationships, however, never come with a signed contract that states we must be stripped of all of our sexual traits.
If those realties aren’t enough for you to cut him loose, don’t you think you deserve more than just being a second choice or a safety net?
Are you content being a backup plan while he goes out trying to find someone he prefers more than you? For whatever reason, he is looking for something different than he has with you, and the longer you stay with him, the more of your own time you’re wasting.
They also put messages on each other wall at least once a week involving some inside joke.