Maybe you’re single and you’ve bought into that idea when looking for someone to date. Over the years I’ve talked to many, many couples—married couples, engaged couples, living-together couples, problem couples—and everyone in between.
This, and the fact that I was desperate to escape the Grey from every possible angle (though I’m grateful for their messages), prompted me to download a copy of Pastor Andy Stanley’s new book on romantic relationships to my Kindle. Geared towards the young, unwed, and culturally savvy, Stanley explains in the introduction that his purpose for writing mean? Still I pressed onward with hopes of encountering helpful gems of wisdom and Christian counsel over the next 200 pages.After all, the author is the Evangelical pastor of the largest church in America. The book’s strength lies in providing clarity on the idea that love is an action, not an emotion.While presenting I Corinthians 13:4-8, Stanley moves slowly through each of the Apostle Paul’s love descriptors careful to paint a clear picture of what love looks like when it is “not easily angered” or “rejoices with truth.” By using Scripture—an overall rare occurrence in this book—Stanley creates an easily digestible to-do and not-to-do list with practical, contemporary examples that squash the fairytale “love” narratives inundating our culture. I was disappointed with Stanley’s book for a couple reasons, the first being its lack of depth. Thinking that if you met the "right person" everything would turn out "right"? In The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating, Andy Stanley explores the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. As I mentioned in the introduction, more is what this book is all about. On a personal note, it's why I love going home at the end of the day. Attraction Matters Before we explore more, let's think together for just a paragraph or two about what makes a right person a right person. Online dating services wouldn't work if people didn't have lists. Since the title of this book promises SEX, I thought we should introduce the topic in this first chapter. as long as you promise to come back and read the first seven chapters. I'm sexually compatible with a million other people. I know, sounds like something your momma would say.” —Andy Stanley Also includes a four-session small group discussion guide to be used with The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating video (sold separately). But in the end, regardless of how many potential right candidates there are, one and only one is chosen. As of the writing of this book, it appears that five contestants chose well. I assume you don't take your relationship cues from script writers and authors. While most everybody has a mental list of what makes the right person the right person, most people abandon their lists for physical attraction and chemistry. While instant chemistry is common, instant chemistry that dovetails into an instantly healthy relationship with until-death-do-us-part potential is not. But before marriage, a lack of objectivity is dangerous.That assumption being: That’s what many married people told themselves when they were single. They met someone they were physically attracted to, added sex to the relationship right away, and fell into a kind of neurochemical bliss that made them believe that not only had they never loved like this, Soon enough, their relationship problems began causing chemistry problems.