But as the relationship starts to grow, you’d start to feel emotionally weak around this person.And before you know it, they could suck the happiness out of you, and all you can do is watch helplessly." The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish," John Paul II.Selfishness has been described as one of the major enemies of married love and of love within the family.It is really important in relationships that you keep your feet in reality.
Selfish people are well mannered and nice to everyone, but they’re nice only as long as they get something more back in return from the people around them.I remember doing a project with someone at university and she slacked off and of course took the credit when after I stepped up and compensated, and then we got a high grade…It was a deflated success and I realised that not only was she taking advantage of our friendship and my conscientiousness, but that I had allowed her to and that she was on board the way that I was on board.When I’ve been in ‘relationships’ with lazy or reluctant team mates, it’s been comparable to trying to cycle a tandem bike on my own with the ‘team’ mate on it, with a flat tyre… Many people assume that if they do the work of both parties in the relationship and love unconditionally without boundaries, that somehow they’ll reap the reward at some point in some sort of ‘cup runneth over and reciprocates eventually’ sort of fantasy.The types of people that need you to have little or no boundaries and values in order to be with them assume that if you’re still there, that you are OK with doing things on their terms – see my post on terms and conditions in relationships.[Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend] How to deal with selfish people If you’re traumatized by a selfish person in your own life, don’t hate yourself for it. No one really realizes that a partner or a friend is selfish at the beginning of the relationship.